There are constantly decisions to make in life, and sometimes, certain things feels like they've reached a crossroad, and making a clear-cut decision to it seems tough...
Sometimes, there are so many things which I want to voice out, given my blunt-ish, straight forward character... But over the years, I've slowly adjusted, just so that I am more mindful of whatever I say and be wary not to hurt the feelings of other people... but have I really changed for the better? I'm not too sure myself...
Yes, I'm more tactful in the way I handle sticky situations and I'm more tactful and conscientious of what I say to other people now, but somehow, I guess, this ain't who I really am deep down... sometimes, I feel that I'm being less candid with my friends, for the fear of saying the "wrong things" and upset them... but I guess this is life, this is growing up =/ because as we grow up constantly, the world we face changes... it's not longer just about "i like you" or "i hate you", it'll gradually become a "i think she's a sucker but I'll just live with it and smile at her" situation as we grow up, because adults are more afraid of changes, of sudden eruptions, therefore, they'd prefer to keep things status quo...
but in the midst of being "nice and friendly" to almost everyone around you, doesn't it feel like the truthfulness in a friendship is barely there?? True friends slap you awake from your deep slumber, just so you'll realise what you're doing and change things for the better... and not smile and pretend everything is alright when things are obviously going in the opposite direction...
A change I've seen in myself... Is this really what I wanted? well, I guess, there are two sides to a coin...
no worries, I'm not upset, I'm not moody, I'm just in deep thoughts :)
